Vulnerability
Vulnerability
Vulnerability is a state of needing something more of something or someone else. Vulnerability is an anxious state, derived in confusion, insecurity, sadness, anger, a true whirlwind of emotion, where our only escape seems to be voicing how we feel to another, or taking drastic action. There are other ways my friend, it is a cautious road but one we are all capable to travel.
Vulnerability hurts, it is a painful experience which can force us to expose what we truly feel and desire. If clarity is found in an answer or response, our heart, our mind can form a blissful ease around the vulnerability which has been resolved. Though what if we voice what we need, and no answers are found? Or worse, what if we voice how we feel, and we are depicted as the problem? The longer this emotional state extends the more gut wrenching the experience, what starts as an increasingly more vulnerable state turns to an emotional eruption or a nullifying of oneself, an empty shell, no longer knowing what to do or what emotions to share. It is a sad state, though rebirth is possible, and it stems from letting go of the need for anything.
In an ideal world we can voice our vulnerabilities and our problems are fixed for us. In the real world if you allow your emotions to be guided by others, you will fall into happiness when it is abundant, and deep sadness when all there is, is confusion and pain. If there is a vulnerability around reassurance, a need for it, then we are the seeker of reassurance, when reassurance is not presented we are disturbed, questioning and resentful. If there is no need for reassurance, we no longer seek it, it is given when it is given and we do not cling to or control. We are free to function without needing things from others to ensure our peace of mind. I do not wish to preach a care for nothing or no one, I wish to grant a path forward which encompasses a little more love for thyself. If you know how true vulnerability is felt, and you only find yourself becoming more vulnerable, then vulnerability may not be the answer you’re looking for.
Instead of sensitivity, a heightened awareness around the things we are seeking in others, we form accountability. We become accountable for how we feel, we become the determinant for our mental health, we guide our thoughts and behaviour away from a constant need for this or that, strip these needs of their power over you and navigate from a place of no need. I do not need anything. I do not need love from others, I do not need this person, this job, this hobby this substance, I do not need sex, I do not need acceptance or reassurance because outside objects do not determine my internal tranquility, this can only be determined by me. Do not derive your sense of being based off others or outside events, you have to form that gratitude within yourself. Once you have obtained a place of internal wealth you will allow the outside world to fall into alignment which best encompasses your true being, not the individual you are trying to hold on to through vulnerability and control. Let go of the ropes a little and let life take it’s course, the more you try and control it the more you become enslaved to its turmoil. Live life, love thyself, and do not allow others the privilege of determining your health, and yes you can in fact fall into happiness while restraining the sadness, that is called emotional intelligence my friend, all thought, feeling and behaviour is in your control, you just gotta learn how to navigate it.
