Inner Resentment
Inner Resentment
Inner resentment explains the bundling of anger and resentment within an individual. When one is taken advantage of, mistreated, belittled or been wrong done by, resentment can build within. Resentment is the expansive feeling of anger towards another, it is to indulge in constant anger provoking thoughts which depict the other as the wrongdoer or enemy within a situation. Something said, done, thought about, or even just being in the company of this other individual can act as a trigger moment when resentment has engulfed us. When we engrain ourselves in this underlying resentment, we can withdraw, lash out, embrace toxic behaviour, seek to harm the other individual physically or psychologically, alternative perspectives tend to be rejected and worst-case scenario, resentment left unchecked can stem to hatred. We constantly derive our resentment from our thoughts, then we delve upon the negative thought further to increasingly reinforce our anger. The thing is, we can resent those we love, resent those we do not truly wish to resent, though how are we meant to truly cherish an individual when an underlying theme of resentment presents itself? Resentment is not healthy for either party, it is best to triumph this negative quality, if not for others, do it for yourself.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is to forgive for everything which has happened. To truly forgive means we have to release our anger and resentment around a situation. To no longer hold something against an individual, resetting your thoughts and emotions from this point forward. Forgive to allow yourself the freedom to try again, forgive to allow someone a place within your heart. We must truly let go of all the hurt or hatred we felt, forgive for errors or wrongdoings, giving permission to everything of the past, so that now we may navigate the future without underlying resentment. To get to this point we will challenge our resentful beliefs with forgiveness. When resentment is felt, and the thoughts which encompass it are indulged in, realize you are feeding your ego, you are feeding this resentment, it is easy to feed cause it displays you as the rightful party and the other as the wrongdoer, you feed revenge, anger, belittlement of the other, you reverse the role that they may have done to us. Now we are stuck in hateful thought and the relationship we may wish to be repaired is fueled by dark thoughts and resentment. To forgive, we must stop ourselves from treading this path, following this pattern. Forgive for everything which has happened so you may begin from this point forward. Truly forgive, it takes a great heart to accomplish this, especially after being hurt, but the hero does not get hurt so that he may turn that hurt unto others, the hero is hurt then with this knowledge protects, allowing no one else to feel such pain. Once we’ve forgiven, then we must remind ourselves of this forgiveness when resentment presents itself in thought, step back, we have given our forgiveness to whomever it may be, therefore there is no more reason to indulge in non-forgiving thought. We accept and love the other for where they stand today, we rid ourselves of the resentment of yesterday.
Love
Love, more so, unconditional love. We all falter, we all make mistakes, each and everyone of us has a little snake inside of us. We cannot bash another, when we ourselves can acknowledge that we have our own demons we struggle to obtain, it is a part of life after all, a part of being human, our consciousness promotes wonders, it tampers with obscurity, feeds insecurity, temptation and pain. So, why not embrace all parts that we as individuals reconcile with, to love another individual for everything that they are, to not demean but rather help them with the demons they face. We forgive, to allow ourselves to love once more, our love for this individual is in acceptance of all that they are. If we wish to appreciate the other once again, we will need to learn how to love them, for not only all the parts which make us happy, but also those which may not act in our favor. We need to love an individual for them, not who we want them to be. After you have resented someone for a period of time, we can begin to see that individual for the pain they have caused us. We need to overcome this resentment and open our hearts to the person they are before us, open our hearts and let them in, love them for everything you cherish, love them for all their mistakes, love them for navigating this earth along side you, love them for trying their best. When we are present with an individual rather than attaching continual thought to them we develop true compassion for each and everyone of us in this world. It is a confusing place, we are confusing people, no one really knows what’s going on and we have a finite lifetime to live. So just love the individuals before you, they are only here for so long and if we continue to get caught in the resentment in our heads, then the time we spend with them we are going to miss it.
Assertiveness
To be assertive is to allow confidence in taking command. It is designed to prevent second guessing, thinking too much into things, being illusive or beating around the bush. When you are assertive you will give it to people straight, if said from a place of confidence within oneself then how you say it will not be devolved in resentment or fear, it will come from a place of observation and understanding, a place where we are not speaking from emotion but rather a place of rational thought. If change is best to move forward then it is better to voice concerns from an assertive platform, then from vulnerability, doubt or anger. It is to take command of situations and be confident and reassured in your decisions and actions. No insecurity, no what ifs, no asking for permission, just confidence and command. We need to be assertive, not vulnerable, assertive. Assertive in getting our needs across if there is truly something we need or voicing what we have to from a state of rationality, rather than a state of emotional vulnerability. When we are assertive and reinforced in getting our needs across it is more likely to be listened to. We state, this is how it is, this is what it does, and this seems like a healthier path moving forward. It is thought about, rational, and assertive, not an emotional mash of anger and confusion. To obtain a state of assertiveness it is best first to develop love for thyself and diminish an indulged state of vulnerability. Vulnerability stems from a need for something, where we are vulnerable when this need is not met. We need to develop a need for nothing, no expectation, as, as soon as we become disappointed our emotions will once again take center stage, assertiveness turns to anger and rage. It is best to be assertive from a place which wishes for things to get better, and expresses that, but does not confine him or herself to the demand for change, it is one who is open to multiple paths forward as they are content with themselves. From here we may assert what we wish, but not cling or be emotionally dependent on that wish being met. If not met, reevaluate your wishes, acknowledge what is rational or what is not, then be honest and assertive in your expression once more. Life will take it’s course and it’s better to be honest and true to yourself and assertive in getting your wishes across, then tumbling over to be the bearer of bad news.
