Grief and Loss
Grief
Grief and loss presents itself at some point in almost all individual lifetimes. The loss of one who is dear to us can impact us to uncharted domains of sadness, guilt, confusion, denial, anxiety, a completely different criteria for all individuals affected by such peril. There are different types of grief, normal being the typically melancholy described feelings one feels in the first weeks or months, a grief that with time heals and develops coping mechanisms in regard to a loss. Though there is also chronic or complicated grief where the grieving process does not deteriorate or go away, but rather inflicts a continual resistance to the circumstances which have taken place, this process resulting in a long-term intensity of sadness, anxiety, anger, guilt, and other emotion, interfering with their ability to reorient towards a new life. It is best to work through your emotions rather than to reject them, as undoing blocks such as guilt or denial is the first step to pursuing a life which is once again meaningful for you. A life a loved one would wish for you to experience, one where they can cherish your fulfillment from watching above. It is good to acknowledge a relationship, one that does not need to be forgotten or overcome, but rather one held dear in mind, action and the stories we share, then built upon. We take this suffering so that our significant lost one does not have to, it is our burden to carry and overcome for them, so that they did not need to face this suffering for us, as life has the suffering, whilst afterlife is blessed in solitude and peace. Our aim for today is to acknowledge grieving as a necessary process, to reflect upon the relationship of past, and encourage a relationship going forward into the future with our lost loved one. We will share perspective and strategy in handling grief and through this process we aim to come into acceptance and obtain a sense of autonomy and meaning in pursuing a life moving forward.
Acknowledging Grief
Grief is a necessary part of healing. The impact of love is that we can be hurt to its equal and opposite dimension, so to love deeply means we may come to grieve deeply as well, it is what it means to feel, it is part of being the loving being that you are. Value feeling an emotion as an essential step to overcome the emotion, it is very hard to navigate something when we remain oblivious to its impacts. Invite despair and know this is part of the healing process. Emotions such as guilt, fear or denial may be encountered as emotional blocks in the early stages of the grieving process. Ask yourself if this is how your loved one would wish to be reflected upon, what is truly important for your loved one? That you did not see them one last time, that you did not get to say I love you at the perfect moment? Dig a little further you’ll find they just want you to appreciate all the blessed days spent together, the laughs indulged in, the moments spent, and the stories shared. Guilt is deemed unnecessary or unimportant to them when there is so much positivity in life to reflect upon. Reframe in a way which encompasses the thoughts of your loved one, they love and want the best for you and share a common wish to be remembered for their brightest moments.
Acknowledging Loved One
Speak positively of your loved one, maintain the relationship through the stories we share, memories we hold, the time spent, and the person they have allowed us to become. We do not have to forget and overcome a loss, but rather embrace a new relationship, one not entirely physical, but one which still captures and encompasses the individual we know and love. With memory, thought, bond and expression, the loved one is still very much alive within us, a presence, guiding us throughout our future. Remember significant and valued parts of your relationship, strengthen those parts which you would like to bring forward. Gaze upon photos, reflect upon things the person would do or say, habits they undertook or the smiles they gave. Truly appreciate each and every aspect of the relationship shared and feel it within you, they are still very much with us. Continue this connection, spiritual companionship aiding you in the quest to foster a positive future. Our loved ones want to see us shine, to live with meaning and happiness, so let’s adhere to their wishes, as their spiritual embrace shepherds us toward a life they would wish to see us live, and a life we ourselves would like to take place.
You
You are the one who carries this weight, though as much as you feel it weigh you down, it also has the ability to uplift you. To see life from a new lens, to cherish and strive toward that which is meaningful to you, that which your loved one would wish to see you obtain. Is it appreciating the small things, is it to hold those you love a little closer, to give your pets extra tummy rubs when they demand it? Are there things in life you wish to achieve or parts of it which have been vastly overlooked? Little habits you wish to get back in to, additional time you wish to spend, a little more prioritizing? This is all for you to ponder on, we have a guiding hand upon our backs wishing to see you along a fruitful road. Let’s do it for our loved one, let’s do it for ourself, there is plenty to life which is still worth living, and once it is over lets give our significant loved ones a story to tell.
