Be Nothing, Just Be

Navigating oneself is truly difficult, and perspective has a lot to do with it. Internal and external perspectives shape us unconsciously, alter our personality and restrict us from being who we truly are.

External perspective

External perspectives are the act of viewing yourself through someone else’s eyes. An attempt to grasp what they may be thinking of you, or developing a further understanding of how you are perceived by those around you. This is the feeling of being out of your head, anxious, cause your mind lies on the thoughts of others, usually based on their perception of you.

An example of this is, “ how does this person see me?”

Looking from the outside in, you make yourself up of labels based on how you feel yourself to be judged from the person’s you are speaking to point of view, labels such as awkward, quiet, anxious or cool calm and collected. Obviously, there are both negative and positive labels for oneself, though this external way of thinking tends to lead to something known as the spotlight effect. The thought that everyone’s attention is on you. Assessing, judging, and watching you, when in fact everyone is too busy in their own head worrying about themselves. If you were portrayed as a criminal by all of society around you, you would be much more inclined to slowly believe and become this portrayal of a criminal. The funny thing is we can do this to ourselves. When you see yourself as an awkward communicator through the eyes of others, this interpretation naturally manifests into reality therefore you will communicate awkwardly because of this underlying feeling that that is how you are viewed and therefore it must be true.       

Internal Perspective

Ones internal view of themselves, the them they feel they need to project into society. An internal perspective looks inwards, it is essentially how we see ourselves or who we identify ourselves to be. To do this we construct thousands of labels or personality traits that we distinguish ourselves to be, in essence this is known as the ego. This determines the character we choose to replicate, the labels we live by and the portrayal of the person whom we think ourselves to be. Labels form at all points throughout our lives, some of the most depreciating self-made labels formed and taking residence from times of trauma and self-doubt. What have you taken away from some event, as your conclusion about yourself? A failed marriage, failure, unlovable. Bullied, worthless, insignificant. Which labels formed in a period of darkness and are still depicted as a part of you today, by you? Trauma unconsciously clings to you, labels which impair your every action, the thoughts you have and the steps you take. You are not your trauma so don’t let it determine you. Identifying these labels is one thing but overcoming them is a true path to fulfilment.

Alternative Perspective

The problem is much of this is wrong. We confine ourselves to labels determined unconsciously by others and ourselves then abide by them, massively restricting us from being who we genuinely are.

A surface level example: I am a cool kid (label), this label allows you to do certain things a cool kid would do but also massively restricts actions a cool kid would not perform. Things you can do versus things you can’t.

We make ourselves up of thousands of different labels giving us a domain of characteristics to represent and an abundance to miss out on. The thing is people aren’t so simple, and personality is of unfathomable complexity. We are a mix mash of the most unique character qualities, even unbeknownst to us yet we operate from a series of labels, acting out something we are truly not. We could say try to identify all the negative labels you determine yourself to be so that they may be squashed, quenched, but even positive labelling is just a façade undermining the true extent of your nature. This is where the alternative perspective come in.

“You have to call off the search in order to find everything you’ve been searching for.”

Stop trying to know or understand who you are. Accept the fact that you will never know who you truly are, don’t try and be anyone, Just Be. Come from a place of complete nothingness, once identified as nothing you are free to do or say anything without deterrence from labels herding you into a little bubble. You are free to act without perspective, without labels, from the heart rather than the mind. Deplete the ego it’s fluids, allow the genuine you to reside, from a place of presence and a place of looking outwards rather than in. Don’t look at yourself through the eyes of others, don’t even look at yourself through the eyes of yourself.

References

The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*CK - Mark Manson

Happy Sexy Millionaire - Steven Bartlett

Self Matters - Dr Phillip C. McGraw