The Spotlight Effect
The Spotlight Effect
The Spotlight Effect refers to the tendency we have to overestimate how much other people notice or think about us.
It is the perception of having a spotlight on us at all times, portraying us as the centre of attention to the outside world. This lens infers that people are judging, thinking or reacting continuously to our own demeanour, it is walking along a pathway and believing everyone you cross has some kind of thought or judgement about you. It is stumbling your words in a team meeting and feeling as though people view you as weird or incompetent, having a bad hair day and believe people are making assumptions about it, or messing up in a team sport and thinking the team is disappointed with your efforts.
The spotlight effect is internal and looks inwards to one’s own mind, making handling reality rather difficult as not enough mental attention is concentrated towards the reality of the situation. Social interactions can be debilitating, anxiety can sprout, overthinking occurs, and the feeling of just being unable to communicate in a normal fashion is a common side affect of focusing too much on your own spotlight. Always second guessing what you say, how you look and what you do because of the feeling that everyone around you is paying close attention and judging you for it.
What to do about The Spotlight Effect?
Ask yourself this.
Who do you think about most throughout the day?
Who do other people think about most throughout their day?
Frankly, no one really gives a shit what you’re doing. Everyone’s focused on themselves. Once you remind yourself that this spotlight effect is a self-imposed assumption, it will become much easier to overcome. Look outside, rather than in. Focus on the beauty in others and listen deeply to the things they have to say instead of constantly evaluating yourself through the internal thoughts of your own mind. The judgements you are coming up with are your judgements, and to degrade yourself consistently even if you believe it to be through the eyes of others is not going to provide any healthy benefit to your wellbeing. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and realize their perspective is different to yours, making assumptions is only false brain frog preventing you from being present. Don’t navigate your own actions through the made-up thoughts of others, place focus on external stimulation, the environment, listening, feeling, just being in the moment without continual internal reflection on oneself.
