Pacifism
Pacifism
You have no enemies.
Not a person in this world deserves to be hurt.
Pacifism is not to not fight, it is not tumbling over to be the passive bearer of demands and cruelty of he who chooses to inflict suffering or bad choices on others. No, pacifism can take form in passive-resistance. It is not puffing your chest being the loudest in the room, and it doesn’t outright aim to defeat people in any sense whether that is verbal or physical. It is an understanding approach, to understand the others side, accommodate it if possible, find a middle ground if need be, or offer, not force an alternative way of seeing or doing things which encompasses the morals of the person whom you are speaking to at the time of confrontation.
What comes from two people bashing fists into heads, and how does this altercation usually happen? It is not one person who decides to fight, it is both of them. What happens if one backs off defensively, deciding not to throw punches back but rather attempt to tame the situation through choice of word? If someone insults you randomly in front of a group at a table, is it better to rip them a new arsehole with your egoic perceived polished intelligence which needs to prove itself in retaliation, or is it easier to smile and move on unwavered and unshaved. Fights happen cause people fall into their emotions or the ego which tells them they need to prove something to the people around them. Most don’t even want the fight they just feel the need to participate in it to protect their ego.
How do we solve problems then? Well, we use our words, use some articulation, and listen deeply to what the other person is saying and what they may need in order not to become overly aggravated. Ninety-nine percent of all problems can be solved through word alone. This statistic becomes pretty much one-hundred percent if you learn to understand and formulate your sentences correctly in a way that does not aim to disprove but rather accommodate multiple point of views. Don’t be so fixated within your own mind, you have no clue what this opposing person may be going through at this period in their life. Some people who strike out, may have faced a recent devastating loss having not fully dealt with it. Others may be struggling with insecurity and their expressions in the world is an act to gain the favour of those around them, they may demand respect because they feel they do not obtain it by most they interact with. In these circumstances is it not better to be an understanding figure in their lives, to be calm, compassionate and instead of tearing them apart a little more you learn to accommodate and be at peace with them.
Not many people are going to continue to ridicule someone who is level-headed in the face of being insulted. They’re after a reaction, not a well minded response. No one is going to physically attack someone who seeks resolution in a composed, authentic fashion.
For additional prosperity in confrontational situations, learn how to articulate yourself properly. Learn to think, learn to listen, learn to not confine to ones own perspective but attempt to understand the other then proceed to formulate your sentence to correctly solve or alleviate the pressure at hand. Read, write, journal or adopt the belief of the pacifist approach so when it comes to these situations you can step back and know how you are going to deal with it, in an understanding manner. This person is not my enemy, I’m sure if I spent enough time with them and got to know them well enough we could even be friends. This perspective is less about you and more about realisation of the bigger picture, there is a problem and it needs to be solved, as well as, altercations have no benefit to either party so why participate in it. One party gets hurt, the other just feels guilty or boosts an egoic state in their personality. Good job!
Learn to fight too. Sounds a bit counterproductive given we are talking about pacifism. Though why do you think it mostly tends to be fighters who resort to violence last? Well, it is because when you know to fight you generally don’t have to. You have confidence in that domain, there is nothing to prove by beating up another human being. People who have respect, don’t demand it. People who know how to fight, usually don’t feel the need to express it. There is an inner confidence which allows them to maintain calm in the face of adversity, they know if all hits the fan, they can handle it and from this state it is very easy to maintain composure and speak through situations calmly. The thing with fighting too is if a fight does break out, you simply defend and move away, throwing back is not necessary, your skill is proven simply in the ability to defend. It is not a necessary attribute; it is just for if you find yourself to become stressed in the face of confrontation it is going to be much harder to solve it if your mind is inflicted with fear and emotion. If this is not you, and you navigate situations clear headed without the skills of fighting then we are all for it, your brain, your intellect is much more powerful than your physical body alone.
This is pacifism, use your words and your understanding. Don’t get caught up in your own emotions or perceived depiction of the event, accommodate the other side working with them rather than against. Conflict is unnecessary and the only time it truly gets out of hand is when both parties fall into an emotional egoic state which does not come from a mind of rationality but rather from a place trying to exert excessive force to prove one thing or another. Be calm, be at peace and be compassionate, there is a win-win situation in every scenario you just have to think on it clearly.
